My sincere apologies for not posting the second installment of this chapter sooner.

If you missed Part One, please scroll down to read the beginning of the chapter excerpt from my newest book:
I CAN’T DO IT ALL.

Part Two:

AN UNDETECTED PLAGUE

The current statistics are frightening. By the year 2000, only twenty-seven years after the 1973 decision, more than forty-six million abortions had already been done, spawning a debilitating plague that is sweeping our nation—a sickness of heart and soul that is tearing apart marriages and families, eroding self-images, and altering generations.1 Like the rotting foundation of a beautiful home, it’s a plague that in many instances has gone undetected for years. Yet the gravity of the situation is cataclysmic, because now the foundations are cracking and the walls are tumbling down.

I am one in an estimated 43 percent of women who have had an abortion by age forty-five; almost half that group has aborted more than one baby. Abortion knows no boundaries—age, race, or socioeconomic status. Even religion makes little or no difference in whether or not a woman has had an abortion. It’s likely we all know someone who is post-abortive.

She could be the woman who sits beside you at Bible study, your child’s Sunday school teacher, or your best friend.

The lie that it was our choice and that we could comfortably get on with life afterwards is haunting a nation of brokenhearted women and men, believers and non-believers
alike.

More frightening for me, and what’s causing me to go to my knees in prayer more and more often, is the fact that our choice and that women are looking to me for answers. we could comfortably They connect with me, knowing that I understand. Because of my willingness get on
with life after- to talk openly about my abortions, they wards is haunting a feel safe with me. They know I won’t judge them.

Once ‘‘pro-choice,’’ I now think of myself as ‘‘poor choice’’ when it comes to the decisions I made in the past. Whether it was one abortion or more doesn’t matter—the number is irrelevant. What is relevant is that I bought into the lie the world placed on a silver platter and handed to me with great pomp and circumstance. At the time, I was an unbeliever. Christ did not play a part in any portion of my life. While this gives me some comfort today, my heart breaks for those women who do believe in the Almighty Creator and yet made an abortion decision based on worldly lies.

Even in the Church

Could abortion really exist inside the church? If so, why don’t we hear from more women and men who have found healing within the body? Why does silence still shroud this subject, making healing all the more difficult?

Could it be that instead of finding restoration in God’s kingdom, Christians touched by abortion are still living in secret guilt and shame, afraid to seek healing for the burden they carry? I’m sure many women ask themselves, Will I still be accepted if I tell? Will anyone understand?

Post-abortive women are not seeking approval for what they’ve done. Rather, they are seeking grace, unconditional love, and a release from the burden they’ve carried for years. Sharing the secret pain of abortion is a major step in healing.

In a survey conducted by Open Arms Ministry, 80 percent of post-abortive women reported problems with guilt, 70 percent reported depression, and 63 percent said they couldn’t forgive themselves. In other words, there’s a world of hurting women out there, trying to be daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends, and co-workers while harboring a dark secret that keeps them in bondage.

For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. (Romans 6:6–7)

Return for more from the chapter: “It’s My Choice” from the book: I CAN’T DO IT ALL.

The following is an excerpt from the just released book: I CAN'T DO IT ALL - BREAKING FREE FROM THE LIES THAT CONTROL US, by Tracie Peterson, Allison Bottke and Dianne O'Brian.

Chapter Eleven: It's My Choice
Written by: Allison Bottke
Page 147

THE LIE: It’s My Choice.

It was clear she had something very important—and very secretive—to share. Her gaze darted around the crowded room, making certain no one was within immediate earshot.

‘‘May I talk with you?’’ she quietly asked. ‘‘Alone?’’

‘‘Help me, God,’’ I silently uttered toward the heavens, knowing from experience I was about to hear something painfully intimate—something so personal that chances are this lovely woman had never before uttered the words aloud.

That’s how things work in this ministry the Lord has given to me. Women around the country open up to me, as though we were childhood girlfriends, even though most of the time we have never met before, and chances are we’ll never meet again.

Her name tag read ‘‘Anna N,’’ and she looked to be in her early sixties. She’d been crying, and dark rings of mascara pooled under her eyes.

‘‘I’ve been married for forty-two years,’’ Anna began. ‘‘We got married when I was eighteen, right out of high school. Harry was my high-school sweetheart.’’

I smiled and held the hand she offered me. Her grip was tight.

‘‘I had a black market abortion before we got married. Harry doesn’t know, and I feel I need to tell him. I’ve been lying to him for years, and I just can’t take it anymore.’’ Interesting terminology, I thought, black market abortion.

Taking into account her age, I shuddered to think what she’d experienced so long ago. I chose my words carefully.

‘‘So, Harry asked if you ever had an abortion, and you said no?’’ I asked.

‘‘Well, no . . .’’

‘‘Then how have you lied to him? How is not telling him something that happened in your past a lie?’’

It wasn’t that I felt she had to keep her secret, especially if the Holy Spirit was convicting her to share it; I just wanted to better understand her dilemma. Had she really lied? Or simply not disclosed everything? Even Jesus, when prompted for information, didn’t always tell His interrogators everything.

‘‘Our daughter-in-law-to-be had an abortion, not with our son’s child, but before she met our son, Garth, and Harry, my husband, said some horrible things about her. He’s not being fair to her. I like her, she’s a good girl, but he doesn’t understand. I always meant to tell him what I’d done—it’s just that . . .’’ her voice trailed off as fresh tears coursed down her cheeks.

It was a three-day women’s retreat, and the day before I had been sitting next to a young woman named Lisa. We had chatted a bit about our husbands, families, the weather, and why we were attending the retreat. She was surprised to discover I was the keynote speaker.

‘‘Why, you don’t look at all like your photo!’’ she exclaimed. ‘‘I thought you’d be much older. I’m really looking forward to your talk. I got here early so I could get a good seat.’’

During my talk, I noticed Lisa sinking further and further into her seat. It’s funny, the things I notice from the podium. Often the lights make it difficult to see beyond the first few rows, so I find myself making frequent eye contact with the people sitting up front.

Walking back to my seat, it was clear that Lisa was in distress. Tears cascaded down her cheeks, and there was a stack of balled-up tissue on her lap. There was no telling what part of my message—which included my personal testimony—had hit a chord in her heart. I couldn’t tell if she was crying for me or for herself.

As the next speaker began to talk, Lisa leaned over to whisper into my ear. ‘‘I had an abortion last year, and it’s tearing my marriage apart. Mark and I agreed it was the best thing to do at the time, since our first baby was only six months old, but now we know it was a horrible mistake. I’m not sure we’re going to make it.’’ Fresh tears flowed, and my heart ached for this beautiful young woman.

There is a recurring issue—a lie—the Lord clearly wants me to address. To affirm this growing realization in my heart, He keeps sending me into groups of people with a common thread. They have all been in bondage to a past belief in the lie ‘‘It’s my choice.’’

Since the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that changed the course of our nation, people from coast to coast—of all ages, denominations, and ethnicities—are dealing with the aftereffects of choosing abortion. These aftereffects are largely undisclosed before the procedure, making them even harder to process when they occur. How could they know, when they believed that from conception it wasn’t a baby with a heartbeat but simply a choice without a consequence?

Come back tomorrow for more from this chapter: It's My Choice.
 

Dear Readers:

I'm back from Chicago and while I want to share a DIVA PRINCIPLE update, I feel compelled to first share this powerful prayer with you. I received this prayer from my sister in Ohio, no telling where it originated. If anyone knows, please feel free to contact me - I'd love to thank them personally.

This made me weep with pain as I realized how impatient I can sometimes be. I pray these words will make you think, as I did, that all is not what it may seem.

God Bless and Keep you.

The Best Prayer I Have Heard In A Long Time...

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love.

It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not just to those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Dear Readers:

Well, I’m off to Chicago tomorrow to speak at the first annual DIVA PRINCIPLE CONFERENCE hosted by the Diva herself, Michelle McKinney Hammond. I’m really excited about the opportunity to meet Jennifer O’Neill and to see my old friend Anita Renfroe. And it’s always a joy to hang with the amazing Diva herself. Michelle is truly a woman anointed by God and if you haven’t read any of her ga-zillion books I encourage you to pick up one of them soon.

I won’t be taking my laptop, so chances are this blog will not be updated until I return on the 17th. Until then, may I encourage you to check out the new sample stories we’ve just posted on our web site from the two God Allows U-Turns books releasing this March.

Have a blessed week.

Dear Readers:

It's always exciting when a new book is placed in your hands. Like a newborn baby handed to a happy parent, I was blessed to see (and hold) one of the first copies of my newest book: I CAN'T DO IT ALL - Breaking Free From the Lies That Control Us. Co-written with bestselling novelist Tracie Peterson and Dianne O'Brian, this non-ficiton book is filled with sriptural truth that will set you free! If you'd like to read I CAN'T DO IT ALL, please call your local bookstore today and ask them to order it from Bethany House. Orders can also be placed on Amazon.com. Sample excerpts will soon appear on our web site at www.godallowsuturns.com.

Blessings to al! 

 

Happy New Year! Okay, so I’m a few days late. I surfed a ga-zillion BLOGS the past few days and found myself once again amazed at,

#1.) How prolific some people are...
#2.) How wise some people are...
#3.) How amazingly obtuse some people are...

and

#4.) How nuts I am to even think I can hold my own in the BLOGOSPHERE!

That said, instead of updating my blog, I sighed a string of heavy sighs and buried my nose in a chick-lit novel.

However, Terri McPherson, my trusted web master, web designer and all around web angel, was hard at work and has updated my 2006 Calendar Page. I’d like to encourage those of you in the Chicago area to take part in the upcoming Diva Principle Conference January 13-15. Hosted by my friend Michelle McKinney Hammond, the three day event is going to be a weekend to remember! I’ll be speaking along with actress and cover girl Jennifer O’Neill. Tickets are available for the entire event or for specific parts of the event such as the Diva Celebration Dinner with entertainer and musician Anita Renfroe. Come out and say hello!

Please check out the other events and dates on the God Allows U-Turns calendar page and join me as I travel around the country in 2006.

Until the next time, “Be of good courage… all ye that hope in the Lord.” (Psalm 31:24)

And that’s what’s on my mind today.