"The choices we make change
the story of our life." ©
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Welcome back to the second installment to the "cliffhanger," U-Turn to Words For The Journey. Memories of the humble beginnings of Words For The Journey Christian Writers Guild have been occupying my thoughts this week. WFTJ – Rocky Mountain Region met yesterday, and as I opened the meeting in prayer, I was keenly aware of His hand in this ministry. But before I go to that, let’s move on to the rest of my journey to and through the CROSSroads.
Let us begin where I left off…
…That’s when I finally reached out to God, not as a DO-er, but as His daughter. "Where do I begin again?"
I remember at that point, reaching for my journal in the nightstand – and for His Word. I turned to Jeremiah. Known as the weeping prophet, I figured we at least had tears in common at that point. These are the words I read in Jeremiah 6:16:
"This is what the LORD says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.’ But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’"
Choose the good way…Clearly, I had chosen wrong, veering off onto paths that weren’t mine to tread. Not only had I confused and exhausted myself, but think of those whose paths I had disturbed. I was horrified.
As I reflected on that Scripture, I felt the Spirit’s gentle nudge to sketch an image of the cross. So I did. But as I outlined this simple, yet profound symbol of my faith, I realized that I had not enclosed the four ends.
I paused and asked the Lord, "This is odd, Lord. Why would I leave the cross open-ended?" I read the Scripture again…
"Stand at the crossroads and look…"
Again, there was the gentle, yet unmistakable nudge of the Spirit. Once again, I put my pencil to the page, and dashed lines running through the open-ended cross were sketched in place. It was obvious. The cross = my CROSSroads.
"What is it, Lord?" I put the point of my pencil directly in the center of the cross.
There, my daughter…
"Oh, my God, my Lord." I cried, pressing the lead even further into the page. "Here I am. Where do I go?"
May I interject here that I did not here an audible voice throughout this process, but a very distinct impression that the Lord was showing me things I had refused to see before. I am in awe at the way He chooses to uniquely speak to each of His children in the way He knows we will understand.
I continued driving my pencil further into the thick page of my journal. Again, another clear impression…
Stay right there, Child. Stay at the center of the cross, at the heart of your Savior and press in. Don’t go left; don’t go right. Just press in – further still. I’m here.
My DO-er brain finally understood. Don’t do anything. Just stay here at the center of the cross, near to His heart. And another Scripture came to mind, Psalm 46:10
"Be still and know that I am God"
What precious relief! The DO-er had permission to "be still," and it felt right, finally.
Over the next few weeks, as my physical body gained strength, I was very selective in choosing my involvement. Attending, not teaching, a weekly Ladies Bible Study was the only thing I felt God’s direction toward. There were a few different study choices, but the one I chose was a study titled "Worship." The woman who taught it had pulled in many various resources to show us different expressions of worship.
One aspect was music. It just so happens that music touches me deeply, reaching into the depths of my emotions and spirit. Ten weeks passed, and the study continued. Speechless (not my norm), I soaked up every word taught, every song played. And then during the last study, the leader played THE song. I don’t know the artist who sang it. I only know the words were almost verbatim to Song of Songs 2:10-14. On the first refrain, I rose to my feet, raised my hands, and knew in that moment that surrender was sweet.
And now comes the fun part again. Sorry for the abrupt ending, but I once again bid you adieu with a cliffhanger. I’ll not make any promises, but tomorrow should be the culmination of my U-Turn and what it brought into my life. Y’all come back now, here?