"The choices we make change
the story of our life." ©
Friday, March 24, 2006
Day Five - Watching and Waiting
Although I tried to learn the blessings of an ordinary life, I also continued to ask God for an avenue to use my creative energy to communicate about Him in a special way.
When He remained silent, I plowed ahead in any new endeavor I could find. I tested out a zillion different volunteer roles at my church. I choreographed a church pageant, sang in a praise band, led the Sunday school music openings, spoke to the mom’s group and facilitated women’s retreats, taught Vacation Bible School. I even got a part-time job at a local Christian bookstore. Although these activities may have brought a bit of blessing to others (through God’s grace), there was no sense of an open door, or a calling. In fact, I often seemed to make a mess of things.
Many times, I drove home from church in tears wondering where I had failed God . . . why He no longer wanted to use me for His kingdom. At the same time, health problems left me feeling broken and used up. Old beyond my years.
Day after day, I sought God and asked Him for direction. Finally one day at a family reunion, a quiet word spoke into my heart. “Write.”
Ah, happy ending. Now I had focus again. Right?
Not so fast. I was ready for a quick U-turn onto a new road, but God had planned a long, slow merge ramp. More on that tomorrow.
Has God whispered a calling into your life? A vision toward a specific task or ministry? Part of the journey may involve waiting and seeking and waiting some more.
If, like me, you have a stirring in your heart to write, feel free to visit my On Writing page. You can find more support on my Links page.