Day Two of Six
June 14, 2006
Posted by Guest Blogger: Dena Dyer

"We have been called into a dynamic love affair--one that gives more than we could have ever hoped and demands more than we would freely give. To receive God's grace in Christ is to be brought into a revolutionary reign, not ushered into a quiet rest home! God's love is as disruptive as it is delightful, as demanding as it is delicious!" Scotty Smith, The Reign of Grace (Howard)

Yesterday, I mentioned that God got my attention recently and made me aware that I had lost the all-consuming passion of First Love with Jesus. And then, my patient, perfect Navigator showed me the way to make a U-Turn back to Him.

As I pondered what had happened, He gently revealed that I had let several things--the busyness of life, a well-placed dedication to my three awesome guys, fatigue and depression brought on by a continuing struggle with thyroid disease, and doubts and anger resulting from several big losses--dull my relationship to my wonderful Savior.

It was hard to admit that I had put Him down the list--especially because I was enjoying a new dream job as a book author and speaker to women's groups. To be completely honest, even as I was talking and writing about God to people, I wasn't making Him a priority. He wasn't a consuming fire like He had once been.

When He finally got my attention through a friend (see yesterday's post), I tried to deny that things were wrong. But in my heart, I couldn't shake the feeling that my buddy was in love with Jesus--and I was not. I wanted to go back to Him, but I was tentative.

I felt guilty, but not yet ready to confess my backslidden (to use a good-old Baptist word!) status to the Lord. So one night not long after God confronted me with my lukewarm-ness, I went searching for companionship and understanding in a book. As a read-a-holic, I often go to the written word for comfort.

So I pulled Tender Mercy for a Mother’s Soul by Angela Thomas off my shelf (I had bought it while doing research for my first book, a devotional book for busy moms) and started thumbing through it.

Suddenly, I caught my breath as I read: “Numbed by the hugeness of motherhood and spiritually paralyzed by the blur of the years rushing by, I was not growing deeper with God.”

Angela had walked the road I was on, and reading her book was the first step towards a new way of living. And God was faithful to me, as he was when He called Angela back to Him.

That night, and many times over the next few months, I did what I should have done in the first place: confessed my weakness, frailty and my disobedience to God. I told Him I missed the closeness we used to have, and wanted to be "on fire" for Him again.

And you know what? He didn’t laugh at me, strike me down with lightning or rake me over the coals.

On the contrary.

I felt peace as my loving Father whispered to me, “I’m so glad that you want to spend time with me. I love it when you do.”

More tomorrow--

Dena Dyer
www.denadyer.com
www.denadyer.typepad.com